With You
by Rhelle
Summary: Because sometimes, despite all odds, love blooms in a person where hatred has been cultivated. And then what is left to be done? (one-sided Jou/Seto, Jou POV.) Linkin Park songfic, "With You"


Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, it would _NOT _be a little kids' show :::wink wink, nudge nudge:::

And also, this takes place just after Seto kicks Jounouchi's ass at Duelist Kingdom, and he's all like, "Yes, Jounouchi, cower before your superiors like the dog you are." (I can't remember all that he said exactly, so please excuse a few errors)

Me: That's pretty kinky, Seto

Seto: ;; SHUT UP, YOU DAMN YAOI FANGIRL!

Well, anyway, here's the fic, despite a few protests - 

Jounouchi: WHAT?! What do you mean I'm in love with that bastard?! I would never, in a thousand years, EVER like that fuc-

Me: :::shoves him in a box::: ^_^; Enjoy the fic!

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With You

This was never supposed to happen. Love was never supposed to grow where hatred had been cultivated. But it did, opposites attracted, and now it leaves me to sort out the consequences.

I walk alone in the forests tonight, a shadow in the darkness of the trees, a wraith passing through a pool of moonlight. I left Yugi and the others sleeping, somewhere in the dark. 

The night is warm and clear, as it often is in summer, and the slight undercurrent and crossflow of breezes caresses my skin. Its familiarity is comforting, and the dark seems to welcome wanderers.

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I woke up in a dream today

To the cold of the static

And put my cold feet on the floor

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The play of shadow and light, the monochrome of black and white, is very surreal, like a realm lost to time and space. I almost feel as though I'm walking through a dream, except I can't sleep. That's why I'm out here.

I know it's connected to you somehow. Maybe it's because I'm still alone, but that's the way it's always been, so I don't know why it would still bother me. Or maybe it's because I saw you again today.

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Forgot all about yesterday

Remembering I'm pretending to be 

Where I'm not anymore.

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You had to rub your victory in my face, didn't you? You've mocked losers all your life, and I am no exception. You kicked me while I was down, because that is what you do to the defeated. Callous more than cruel, but which is worse? You will never know how deeply you hurt me, though. No one will.

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A little taste of hypocrisy

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake

Slow to react

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You're like fire to me; you are light, brilliant and warm, but light that would burn me should it so choose. But whether you illuminate my life or set it aflame, it matters little to me. That you are there to do it...that is everything.

I love you in a raw, burning way, not unlike hatred and perhaps related. It isn't soft and gentle like first love is supposed to be. It's like a wildfire; uncontrollable, raging through my soul, sometimes pleasurable, sometimes painful, but always there. Always with me.

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And even though you're so close to me

You're still so distant

And I can't bring you back

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Somehow, I love to have you tear me down. I've learned to relish the pain, because it's all you'll ever give to me. So hurt me. Do whatever you please to me, 'cause I'll still love you for it.

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It's true

The way I feel

Was promised by your face;

The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me

I'm with you.

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"Yes, lie there. Lie there like the coward you are."

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I love you! Can't you see that, you stupid ass?! I wanted to scream. But doubt and common sense killed the words, and they died on my lips. Too much complication involved, too many risks. Better stay silent.

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You

Now I see

Keeping everything inside

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I don't have the courage to tell you, and obviously you don't care. So I am left alone, with the trees and the shadows and the moonlight.

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"...Like the coward you are..."

Your eyes, icy blue, burn into my own.

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You

Now I see

Even when I close my eyes

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I hate you. How can I not? You're always such a bastard. I've never done anything to you! Why do you have to be so cruel?

God, look at me. I'm crying now. I brush the tears away, only to have more fill my eyes.

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I hit you and you hit me back

We fall to the floor

The rest of the day stands still

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I hate you because I love you, and love you because I hate you. You seem to invite both, though perhaps the fault is not all yours. I guess I hold a grudge against you because I always thought myself beyond simple human affection, and you have proven me wrong. And it doesn't help that you're a prick.

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Fine line between this and that

When things go wrong 

I pretend that the past isn't real

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You lend a sense of joy to my days, but endless disappointment and suffering also. Sometimes I want to kill you, but at the same time, I know I'd be the first to save your life. I can't live with you, and I can't live without you.

I love you. I hate you. The cycle repeats itself; it'll never change.

It's a maddening experience.

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Now I'm trapped in this memory

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake

Slow to react

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My head hurts, and my heart is one big knot in my chest. I never seem to be able to sort out the way I feel about you. But that doesn't matter, 'cause whatever it is, it's powerful, this twisted emotion that binds you to me. 

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So even though you're so close to me

You're still so distant

And I can't bring you back.

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Do you really hate me as much as you say you do? Maybe you're just as lost as I am, and that's why you're always so cold. I still wonder. I still hope.

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It's true

The way I feel

Was promised by your face

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And then there was that little half-realized glance over your shoulder, that look of _I can do nothing for you. I am but a victim also. _That little glimmer of something unexplained in your eyes. And the whispered words that made me doubt all your cruelty. They repeat themselves in the silence of the night, their pattern branded onto my brain.

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The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories

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"I wish you luck in all your ventures, and I pray our paths don't cross again. Goodbye."

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Even if you're not with me

I'm with you.

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So I am left to sweep up the rubble and try to rebuild when I have nothing left to use. Only hope.

Are you in love, too, Seto Kaiba? Are you regretting the events of today? Are you awake somewhere, like me, sick with loneliness?

Will these questions ever be answered?

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You

Now I see

Keeping everything inside

You

Now I see

Even when I close my eyes

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I pick up my pace, as if I could leave behind these and the other problems of you. As if I could, as if I'd ever want to. I'll keep on dying, because I keep on loving. I'll always be with you.

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No

No matter how far we've come

I can't wait to see tomorrow

With you.

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~*FINIS*~

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Jounouchi: WHY?! Why, I ask you, why must I be tortured by this stupid-ass chick?! :::tries to get out of box:::

Me: :::ships him to Venuzuela::: ^_^; Anyway…review! Please! 


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